Typewriter and Sandwich

jemmy asked why do I have so many vvip in my life and how do I keep in touch with them; I dont. but on hindsight, I've been really blessed to meet so many who matter.

once every yr, my mum and I would join one of my cousin's family for reunion dinner. in fact, we've lived tgt when mama was still with us, hence, mummy and I are closer to them. so far, its been nice of them to invite us for reunion dinner every yr after mama's passing.

similarly, every reunion dinner brings back nostalgia of the past... but only one person reminds me of the good old days. tonight, andrew joined my family for reunion dinner and kor ant told him stories abt me when I was still a child. it made me realise tt he's always cared for me like his baby sister rather than a cousin-brother. he told stories how difficult I was to care for and how I could "bring the house down" when I cried, so he'd take me on a bus ride to punggol end, and the sights and sounds would have a calming effect on me. reflecting on that, I've not really changed. I still "bring down the house" when I cant get things my way and I still make my point when I'm upset. perhaps less so, but it doesnt mean tt I feel less like expressing myself in any way. back to kor, it was heart-warming to hear him talk abt me in such an affectionate manner when he'd been so mean to me when I was little. -.- he asked if I could rmb the times he carried me, but all these yrs, I could only rmb the daily tv-remote-control-snatching competitions, I-want-that-sofa arguments, I-was-watching-tv-first fight and all the beatings I got from him. HAHA! but... I do rmb tt he'd carry me to my bed whenever I fell aslp while watching tv. when making a comparison to his daughter, angeline, he said, "when you're in a good mood, you're so huggable and loveable... but when you're not in the mood..." HAHA I thought, "hm. I'm still the same old me, kor."

mummy asked her usual question, "are you still smoking?" and kor answered enthusiastically, "YES!" and then... the whole table started nagging! hahaha... and then he said, "eat more! you're not eating enough tts why you're talking so much." man, I should tell tt to my mum more often.

church was good today. brother greg's awesome. (: I wanna fall in love with Jesus!

yet another 21st birthday party had gotten me re-thinking about my very own initiation into adulthood, about a month ago. it feels like on the 2nd of jan 2010, I was still young and willful but when the clock struck midnight, a transformation had taken place - the responsibilities I've always had have doubled in weight, and I'm surrounded by opportunities that can potentially alter the course of my life. I'm sure these things had been around me even before I turned 21 but, somehow, they've evolved in capacity.

I'm not worried tt I dont have a future, but I do want to make an informed choice about where I'm heading.

tonight, we prayed for son at her birthday party and I was really touched by tt. I think I really need prayers on making a good decision for the coming sems in JCU. school's started so well but I think its only gonna be an uphill climb from now on. 2nd term was gruelling for me and I've had my fair amnt of setbacks to believe tt I may not be on the right track. hm. I need pray. and it really doesnt help when people keep questioning my decisions. esp those who dont matter -.-

anw, no more bitching. no more whining. I've to start planning and I've to plan well. jer's made an appt with dr. denise on tuesday morning to discuss our overseas transference and I'm alrdy having the jitters. oh but it still boils down to whether mummy can afford to send me over. otherwise, it'll really be a waste of time worrying.

are adults not entitled to laugh like a child? dance like a child? or sing like a child? I've always loved being the age tt I'm at, whether at 9 or 19. but being 21 is different, somehow. I wanna slow down but its too late. so we'll keep going and believe tt love prevails.